For a long time, I lost the urge to write on here. I don’t know if it was from discouragement or the lazy summer routine but I am ready to give it another go. So let’s start with some updates about my summer so far.
I was blessed to get a job at the IMAX theatre at the Air Force Museum. I love the wonderful people that work there with me, it’s like a big family. Everyone is weird in their own way and we all love to laugh with… and at each other. I also love that I get to see my good ol’ friend Mike every other day. I was also his date for his brother’s wedding. One, he is a great dancer. Two, we were pretty good looking, as you can see.
I was asked the other day, “Where do you see yourself in 2 years?” I thought about this question but could only really say, “I don’t know” and “I guess it depends.” The more I have thought about this question, the more I have become frustrated with my answer, I don’t know. I honestly have no idea where God will take me in 2 years. I can see myself staying in Dayton, I can see myself going away. I can see myself leading Younglife for awhile longer or I can see myself becoming involved in other ministries. Then I began to realize that whatever the Lord has in store for me after college, the fact that it can be anything is beautiful. So, I have come to the conclusion that I am up for anything God. And I know that it will be good and perfect because it is Your will.
The Lord has also taught me about loneliness. Sounds slightly depressing and it has been hard, very hard, but also very very good. In the end, I found I was never alone. The Lord has shown me through different periods of loneliness this summer, that I must cling to Him more and the world less. Easier said than done, but He has shown me that it is only Him. It’s always been Him and will always be Him. It’s funny how something so simple takes so much work to get through my head. One question has been unwavering in my mind: is the constant dependence on fellowship hinder my relationship with God? I know, sounds weird and maybe even wrong, but I have come to see that I was and am to dependent on my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for love, acceptance and being wanted. I go to them before I go to the Lord. And so this time of “being alone” has been eye opening, heart softening and Christ seeking. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong, and if you have thoughts, please share. I am amazed in the ways the Lord pushes me, He does in ways that I could never imagine.
“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” Acts 2:26-28