adulting

It has been 3 years since I have written anything. So much has happened during that time. I have found myself more than ever aching to get some words on a page. I thought, “I’ll start over with a fresh new blog.” But I wanted this to show a progression of who God is slowly growing me to be.

Since 2012 I have:

  • Graduated from the University of Dayton
  • Started teaching at Northmont High School
  • Started leading Young Life at Northmont High School
  • Met, dated and married Lucas Hall
  • And bought a house

A.K.A I became an adult. bluh.

God has been faithful and has taught me beyond what I could ever imagine through those times. Change will always bring growth and the biggest place of growth has been where I place my security. I have the problem of placing it in people.  God decided this could be no more. Therefore, this past year has been by far the most difficult in my life. It’s always painful for the Lord to rip out something that was dug down so deep. And of course I’m stubborn so that doesn’t help. But to know now that my significance and value is only from Him and He determines it. A simple truth but it’s always the simple ones we have so much trouble with.

Through the last 11 months, I have also encountered one of the driest and darkest times of my life. To not go to the Lord and have no desire to do so is a scary feeling. Your heart slowly hardens and you become someone you were never intended to be. It’s then in those times that the evil one is able to whisper lies and you eat them right up as truth.

I lost the will to fight this year and God didn’t step in for a while.

He let me go through the desert but only so I could arrive in the Promised Land. And this was not without love. But I believe God wanted to teach me something, something big and since I’m so hard-headed, it had to be a VERY large sign. And of course, this was very simple truth as well.

He must be my everything. My source for life. My first, my second, my third. I must also watch what I say to myself every minute of everyday. Not what I think of myself because “…my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8, ESV) And our thoughts can be so fickle and deceiving. But how I talk to myself is so important. The statements of “I am not loved, I am alone, No one cares about me, I am not good enough, I am a failure…” MUST be fought. Some say I can’t help what I think or say but that is untrue. You just do not want to change what you think and what you say. The Lord has given us the Holy Spirit to live and dwell among us.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13, ESV)

Abound in hope! Therefore, we do not need to stay in our depraved thoughts but can fight them, stop them and change them through memorizing and knowing scripture. For if you have ever experienced the amazing power and healing that comes from His Word, you know what I write to be true. If not, press into this thought and bring it before Him.  

My last thoughts:

Joel is a weird book and we don’t hear a lot of people talk about it. It’s short and nestled with the other short books at the end of the Old Testament. It easily gets lost. In Joel we have the usual case of His people losing sight of Him. Joel 1 – 2:12, there is talk of locusts, starvation, drought and then the terrible visitation. But before it gets to nasty the Lord says:

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord,
Return to Me with all your heart,
And with fasting, weeping and mourning;
And rend your heart and not your garments.
Now return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and compassionate,
Slow to anger, abounding in loving-kindness
And relenting of evil.
 Who knows whether He will not turn and relent
And leave a blessing behind Him,
Even a grain offering and a drink offering
For the Lord your God?” Joel 2:13-14, NASB

He declares to His people to come back to Him, rend (tear) their hearts open for Him because He is gracious, He is compassionate, He is slow to anger, He is abounding in loving-kindness and He is relenting of evil.

What sweetness for my soul.

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Great Wolf

Leader weekend at Great Wolf Lodge is this weekend. I always look forward to leader weekends, spending time with friends, laughing, staying up late, worshiping and growing. This weekend is also where I bought my epic and controversial wolf shirt last year. Though I got a lot of heat for this purchase, it was well worth it and I stand by my decision. I will be wearing it all Saturday. I look forward to posting about the weekend and all that I come out with.

antonina grace

 

 

Back 2 school.

With school officially starting yesterday and homework already due tomorrow, it’s time to get back in the swing of things. I am excited for this semester. Excited for what it will bring and the growth that will happen. I often fall into the habit of not being still. So I have decided to make it a point to be still this semester.

So prayers for that.

Some music I have been listening to lately that I highly recommend:

If You Were the Only Girl in the World – Perry Como

From the Morning – Nick Drake

Latter Days – Over the Rhine

Going to California – Led Zeppelin

antonina grace

 

Happy Christmas!

Christ was born so we could LIVE. As Rob Turner stated last night at the Christmas Eve service, “When Christ was born, God was declaring war.” 100 % human, 100 % God. That small baby Jesus is the same Jesus that died on the cross for me.

“In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And the angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

 “Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

   When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

   And at the end of eight days, when he was circumcised, he was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.”

Luke 2: 1-21

Rejoice, Rejoice, Emmanuel.

antonina grace